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Euphoria

by LÂLKA

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    The Bandcamp version of Euphoria includes main tracks, instrumentals, remixes and clean versions (swear words scrubbed out).
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1.
Gradient 03:22
Try not to freak ya ‘Cause I’m an alien Can’t even tell ya Where I’m from It’s complicated Tried to be like ya But my melanin’s a sin Can’t even show ya All the papercuts I’ve been holding in I live in a world where left is right Do you see me? Do you see me? I’m that gradient that turns you blind Do you see me, ‘cause I can’t see me In your eyes I’m that gradient that turns you blind I’m that gradient that turns you blind I’m that gradient, I’m that gradient, I’m that gradient that turns you blind Wash me till I’m white Like I’m a neophyte Spoke in a foreign tongue Since I was young It’s complicated I’m saturated But you want me faded My insides shatter Like the pieces of a million prisms I live in a world where left is right Do you see me? Do you see me? I’m that gradient that turns you blind Do you see me, ‘cause I can’t see me In your eyes I’m that gradient that turns you blind I’m that gradient that turns you blind So look at me, what do you see? I spent my whole life trying to be I’m not your kind Your kingdom’s not designed For me I turn you blind I’m that gradient, I’m that gradient I’m that gradient, I’m that gradient Microinvalidations: Subtly or obviously denying the experiences, feelings, or thoughts That people of colour have For example: “I don’t see colour” “We’re all human beings” “All lives matter” What it does is make people of colour feel Invisible
2.
I hate myself I’ll be okay I wanna be all skin and bones Party all day Like I don’t care Oh, I just wanna be alone I eat too much I throw it up Drink alcohol To numb it all My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria I loathe myself Such a cliche Swear I don’t wanna feel this way I crush my pills Just like my feels My thoughts are spinning like the wheels A race car out of control My thumb just doesn’t stop the scroll My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart I think too much and I fuck it up I ruminate on things I hate Where’s my hype I’m supposed to be the A-type Archetype, prototype, stereotype Pick me up I fall again I mess it up I’ll be okay Just gotta figure it out Gimme a minute Gotta figure it out Promise I’ll get it Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart It’s my party I guess I’ll cry if I want to I hate myself But you never knew that, did you?
3.
Hold me, hold me I just need somebody Somebody who gets me I just want an escape Tonight I feel you Hold me I just need somebody Somebody who gets me I just want an escape tonight Like honey, you’re so fucking lovely You’re so fucking lovely I just want an escape
4.
5.
6.
I hate myself I’ll be okay I wanna be all skin and bones Party all day Like I don’t care Oh, I just wanna be alone I eat too much I throw it up Drink alcohol To numb it all My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria I loathe myself Such a cliche Swear I don’t wanna feel this way I crush my pills Just like my feels My thoughts are spinning like the wheels A race car out of control My thumb just doesn’t stop the scroll My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart I think too much and I fuck it up I ruminate on things I hate Where’s my hype I’m supposed to be the A-type Archetype, prototype, stereotype Pick me up I fall again I mess it up I’ll be okay Just gotta figure it out Gimme a minute Gotta figure it out Promise I’ll get it Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart It’s my party I guess I’ll cry if I want to I hate myself But you never knew that, did you?
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
I hate myself I’ll be okay I wanna be all skin and bones Party all day Like I don’t care Oh, I just wanna be alone I eat too much I throw it up Drink alcohol To numb it all My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria I loathe myself Such a cliche Swear I don’t wanna feel this way I crush my pills Just like my feels My thoughts are spinning like the wheels A race car out of control My thumb just doesn’t stop the scroll My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart I think too much and I f- it up I ruminate on things I hate Where’s my hype I’m supposed to be the A-type Archetype, prototype, stereotype Pick me up I fall again I mess it up I’ll be okay Just gotta figure it out Gimme a minute Gotta figure it out Promise I’ll get it Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart It’s my party I guess I’ll cry if I want to I hate myself But you never knew that, did you?
12.
I hate myself I’ll be okay I wanna be all skin and bones Party all day Like I don’t care Oh, I just wanna be alone I eat too much I throw it up Drink alcohol To numb it all My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria I loathe myself Such a cliche Swear I don’t wanna feel this way I crush my pills Just like my feels My thoughts are spinning like the wheels A race car out of control My thumb just doesn’t stop the scroll My body is a rave And all I crave Is euphoria Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart I think too much and I f- it up I ruminate on things I hate Where’s my hype I’m supposed to be the A-type Archetype, prototype, stereotype Pick me up I fall again I mess it up I’ll be okay Just gotta figure it out Gimme a minute Gotta figure it out Promise I’ll get it Welcome to my party Let’s get high Welcome to my party Where I’ll cry I’m gonna dance to the melodies falling apart I’m gonna dance to the beat of my breaking heart It’s my party I guess I’ll cry if I want to I hate myself But you never knew that, did you?
13.
Hold me, hold me I just need somebody Somebody who gets me I just want an escape Tonight I feel you Hold me I just need somebody Somebody who gets me I just want an escape tonight Like honey, you’re so fucking lovely You’re so f- lovely I just want an escape

credits

released November 26, 2021

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